Is your toddler out of control?

tantrumOne thing that strikes fear in the heart of many parents is a child that’s too hard to handle. How can we avoid bringing up a little tyrant?

The common way is to instill fear in your child so that they know if they cross the line there will be some type of punishment. Be it a smack, a ‘time out’ or the withdrawal of privileges. This might seem like a great idea, but isn’t likely to raise a child with the right values. You might find that they’re ‘out of control’ when there isn’t anyone around to catch them. If they get in trouble they’re also more likely to feel self pity than regret.

Parents who don’t want to go down this route may avoid punishment but find that their children are walking all over them. They feel stuck and have no idea what to do. In their frustration and confusion they may have blow outs, where they get really angry at their children and then regret it. This isn’t a great situation for anyone. The parent isn’t enjoying their children and the children have no idea what to do, as they don’t have a leader to follow. A definite recipe for kids who are out of control.

So what do we do? A third way is to stop thinking your children need to be ‘controlled’. Of course, they need to get dressed, eat healthy food and all the normal things in life, but they key is to make them want to do these things from their own desire. This does mean you need to see your children as individuals, with their own likes and dislikes. You also need to trust your children to take care of themselves. So, how does this look?

The third way with dinner

Scenario 1.

You’re cooking dinner. You hope your toddler will eat it, because you think they’re not eating enough or not eating the right variety of food. You caved to their whining and bought them sweets at the shop and feel really guilty about it.

You put the food on your toddler’s plate and put them in their seat. You tell your toddler that they need to eat all their dinner, especially since they had sweets today. This might be in a ‘pleading’ way or perhaps with a threat, ‘eat your vegetables or there’s no dessert!’.

You watch what and how much your toddler is eating, You might try to feed your toddler yourself.

You’ve created a power struggle, where your toddler’s need for independence means they HAVE TO refuse your pleading and threats. You’re angry and your toddler is defiant.

Not long after your hungry toddler comes to you asking for food. You’re fuming, but due to your concern for their health you make more food. You think your toddler is ‘controlling you’ and has you under his thumb.

Scenario 2.

It’s dinner time! You put your toddler in their seat, the food on their plate and start eating. You enjoy your food and don’t pay attention to what your toddler is eating.

You trust that your toddler is taking care of their own needs and you make this possible by only feeding them food that you’re happy for your toddler to eat and you don’t keep junk food in the house.

You also don’t worry if your toddler isn’t eating enough, because this is the last thing you’re cooking tonight and if they’re hungry later they can have more dinner or perhaps fruit – something easy.

Everyone is happy and relaxed. Everyone’s needs are met. No one is controlling anyone.

Other examples of the third way

  • It’s cold outside but your toddler doesn’t want to wear a jacket. You bring a warm jacket with you and pretty soon your toddler is asking to put it on because they are cold!
  • You need to change your toddlers nappy but they’re refusing. Your toddler then asks you for something, but you tell them they need to change their nappy first. They happily change their nappy right then and there!

Of course, the third way isn’t without its challenges. For instance, I haven’t found a way to get my toddler to brush their teeth. It’s a struggle every night and often there are tears. I can limit this by only feeding healthy food, making sure my toddler at least washes their mouth out with water and continuing to show him the whole family brushing their teeth. I know one day this will pass!

How long is your elastic band?

IMG_3642Runners. I’ve never had one of those. And I feel for the people who do. I see them chasing their kids around the place, never given a moments rest just to relax and watch their children play.

My eldest was too scared to be a runner. He was more the ‘clinging to mum’s leg’ type of toddler. My second was an easy-going calm toddler. He’d explore at leisure, but never too far away and would always come back when called.

It was my third that made me revisit the entire ‘runner’ issue. Are runners born or made? Interesting question, and perhaps an unanswered one, but if they are made, I think I might have just managed to pull myself back from the brink of ‘never have a still moment’ hell.

After the first two non-runners, my third child made me think that perhaps runners were born. Just after Austin started walking I noticed that not only did he not care to follow me, he actually deliberately headed in the opposite direction. And he wouldn’t stop. He would keep going, until he wandered away so far that he would be unable to find his way back to me and I would have to go and get him.

At parks he would wander off and introduce himself to other families. Sometimes he would have a little chat and once he got lucky and scored a biscuit (perhaps that’s why he continues to do this!). Other times it wasn’t so easy to remain calm and not chase after him in panic, like at the shopping centre. While waiting for a lift Austin started heading for the escalators. I called him over but he just ignored me and I was just a second off going to get him when he decided to listen and came toddling back. Phew!

Going to get him is my last resort. If I DO have to get him, say, he’s heading for a road,  I walk after him calmly (I don’t want him to think I’m playing chasies!) and when I get to him I don’t pick him up or tell him he shouldn’t walk away so far, I just take his shoulders and turn him around the way I want him to go. At this age he’s pretty oblivious and happily changes direction – it’s all just exploring for him.

Yesterday, my fear that Austin could potentially be a runner was somewhat alleviated. We were at a shopping centre ordering some take-away and Austin was wandering around exploring. Then he started walking away from us. I watched him go, not particularly worried as the shopping strip wasn’t large and he wouldn’t get lost. Eventually Austin reached the entrance of the supermarket we’d just left and it was looking like he would take a turn and go inside, and out of our sight. The elastic was very stretched, almost at breaking point, and my partner asked the older boys to get Austin. But just as he did, Austin turned around and started heading back towards us. I called the rescue mission off, hoping Austin hadn’t noticed that we’d started to panic about him. He toddled all the way back to us, and I pointed out to my partner that there is an invisible elastic band, and it will be stretched, but if he has trust in his child, it won’t break. Well, it hasn’t so far!

Do you have a runner? Do you think runners are born or made?

My dad, The Continuum Concept hero

CC_bookcover-smallI spent the day with at my mum and dad’s house today, bringing five year old Charlie and one year old Austin with me.

Although my dad (their grandfather) has never read The Continuum Concept or even heard of it, I was happy to see him apply it with the boys.

Growing up in a small country town in Poland, I suspect my dad grew up with more of his continuum intact than we have in our current modern Australian society.

The first incident what when little Austin was running around the house grasping a fistful of pencils (they’re much more fun to run around with than to draw with when you’re one). I heard my mum say to dad, ‘oh, I’m so worried about him running around with those pencils and that he might fall over and hurt himself.’

And then dad said back to mum. ‘Just make sure you don’t tell him that.’

This is a beautiful example of how Jean Liedloff observed that if we warn children of dangers we take away their innate responsibility they have for their own safety and actually cause them to have accidents.

Needless to say Austin was perfectly fine with the pencils and didn’t hurt himself. ‘He was just lucky this time,’ modern Western society replies.

Next, dad had to drive off to pick up some supplies from a shop. Right away the first thing he thought of was to ask Charlie if he wanted to come along.

This reminded me of how children learn from the adults by being part of their lives. In Liedloff’s book, she describes how the adult men would take the young boys with them on hunting trips so the boys could learn how to hunt themselves. Here was my dad, asking Charlie to go with him on a modern day hunt to the shop.

My 14 month old’s daily rhythm

My 14 month oldFrom about 11 months Austin morphed into the cutest baby ever! I don’t remember thinking that my babies were so incredibly cute before, so perhaps this comes with the territory of having your third and last child. You’ve been through it before, twice, so you can just relax and enjoy your baby. You also want to cherish every second, as this is the last time you’ll have a little bubba running around in your house.

So sadly, there is no more babies in my life. Austin has so quickly turned into a toddler. So how does our day go?

Waking up

To this day, I still don’t need an alarm clock to wake me in the morning. Austin will wake up between 6am and 8am each morning. I’m much happier when it’s 8am, but I do go to bed earlier than I would otherwise, around 11pm, just in case it is a 6am wake up! Luckily 7.30am is the most common time – which works perfectly for our family so I can get Oli ready for school and me for work (how does he know!?).

When he does wake up it’s always with big smile. We usually have a little play in bed (especially as it’s winter and I don’t want to get out) by singing songs or bouncing on the bed. Austin also enjoys looking out the window and pointing at birds.

Getting ready for school and work

After getting dressed we go into Oli’s room and I let Austin wake the boys. He starts by climbing on top of Charlie’s head (perhaps he wants to squash Charlie, or perhaps he just wants to get to the lego box that’s just beyond Charlie). The subsequent noisy wrestle ensures Oli and Charlie are awake!

Once the boys are dressed I leave them with Austin while I make breakfast and then we all take a walk to take Oli to school. Or on the days I’m working from the office, Oli and I say bye to everyone and I drop Oli off at school in the car before continuing to work (we now have a second car, so Dada doesn’t need to drive us like before). Austin is never happy about this and I need to ensure he’s in someone’s arms or he tries to come with us. It always ends in tears : (

Work and play

Playing with his toysAustin is really great at playing on his own and exploring while I work, but there are a few things that make working from home difficult.

Firstly, I can’t make eye contact with him. I love watching him go about his day while I work (I’m so blessed to be able to do this!). But I need to be careful that he doesn’t catch me gazing at him because if we make eye contact he rushes over to me and wants to be picked up!

Helping mum workAnother problem arises when the phone rings. Of course, it is the perfectly wrong time when I am speaking to someone for work, but it always results in Austin running over to me and crying to be picked up! If no one is around to pick him up and carry him far away, then I can only continue the phone call while breastfeeding him to keep him quiet. Thank god for breastfeeding! I can see this was a problem when he was nine months old as well, so it’s obviously not something Austin is getting used to!

Other than that our days are lovely. I get to breastfeed Austin for his nap and on Fridays I take him to his music class, which he loves.

At the same time, I also enjoy the two days a week I spend working from the office. It’s essential for my face to face meetings and catching up with colleagues, but also gives me two ‘relaxing’ days where I don’t need to think about anything else but work and can confidently make phone calls without first ensuring some is there making sure Austin is otherwise occupied.

The great thing about working from the office is that I’m also finished at 5pm, so the rest of the evening isn’t as busy. When I am working at home I usually need to work a bit longer, especially on the day I spend extra time with Austin, so the day feels much busier and rushed.

Nap time

Austin is now down to one nap a day, anywhere between 11am and 1pm and he tends to sleep for between one and two hours. This is great most days but can be a problem when his music class is on as it starts at 12.45pm and usually means I need to wake Austin up from his nap. Once he didn’t get to sleep on time and had his nap after his class. Luckily his class has been moved to 10.30am from next term, so he’ll be able to nap at his leisure.

We wait until Austin is tired and yawning before trying to put him to sleep, otherwise it’s just a waste of everyone’s time. When he’s ready he falls asleep easily, quickly and happily.


I’m back to work full-time now, so life is extremely hectic! However, when I work from home I take the time to pick Oli up from school. Not only does this give me some exercise and fresh air, it also gets Charlie on his scooter and Austin a welcome ride in his sling.

Dinner time

Helping in the kitchenBecause I’m working, it’s often up to Dada to get dinner ready, but if I’ve finished all my work I can join in. Austin enjoys spending time in the kitchen. We’ve had to move all the ‘breakables’ out of the lower draws as Austin loves to take things out and has managed to drop a few pieces. So now the lower draws are mostly filled with plastic boxes.

He also enjoys helping unpack the dishwasher and watching us cook. Often we’ll put him in his high chair with some snacks and he observes us while we prepare the meal.

Baby led weaningAt dinner time we share all out food with Austin. In the last few weeks I haven’t been cutting up his food as small and he is managing really well, especially as he now has six teeth. I also love it that he usually goes for his vegetables first. I know that won’t last for very long!

Bed time

Most times we give Austin a bath straight after dinner, as he is often very messy. It works out well, as it means he’s ready for bed at around 7pm. If he’s still not tired or we have dinner early, he runs around in his pyjamas until he gets tired.

Austin loves his bath and spends a lot of time playing with his bath toys. One thing he doesn’t love is having his hair washed. I don’t wash it regularly, so when I decided it was getting a bit grotty I was surprised that he didn’t want to let me shampoo it and cried when I rinsed it. So I decided to make it a more regular affair so he can get used to it (although I still don’t do it very often…).

First toothbrushWe also got Austin a little toothbrush so he can clean his teeth. We’ve shown him how to brush and just let him do it himself with a little bit of toothpaste so he can get used to the taste. He doesn’t like the taste and usually makes a face. I also ask him if ‘mummy can have a turn’ and he lets me brush his teeth for about one millisecond. But at least we’re getting him used to it!

Good nights

Austin is still not a fan of getting his clothes on, so after bath I let him run around a bit and ask him if he wants to put on his pyjamas. After a while he usually comes over and lets me do it. It helps if I give him something exciting to hold, like a tube of cream or my mobile phone.

When he is ready for sleep we turn the light off and I breastfeed him to sleep on his matt (I don’t put him in bed until I’m with him in case he wakes up and falls out in the dark). He usually sleeps really well for the first two hours but then wakes up for a feed. When I am lucky he’ll go back to sleep for a while again, but most times he starts waking up all the time and only stays asleep when I go to bed with him. This is annoying for me, as I don’t get much time to do my own thing (TV watching is a luxury I just can’t afford these days and I often need to cut my shower short because he wakes up) but I know it’s not forever and at least I can take my phone with me and look at Facebook!

How to prevent your baby being an unspoken victim of modern economics

Leaving my baby with grandma while I go back to work.
Leaving my baby with grandma while I go back to work.

Unfortunately, much of the advice new parents get about taking care of their baby pits the mother’s well-being against that of her baby.

Breaking the baby bond

One obvious example is being told to put your baby to sleep in a separate room and ‘training’ them to sleep on their own. To me, it’s pretty obvious that while the mum will get some much needed sleep, the baby’s needs are being undermined:

  • It ‘feels’ bad to do this. You will hear mothers say how ‘hard’ it was to listen to their babies cry and that they had to go for a walk rather than stay home and hear their baby’s screams.If you need to switch ‘off’ your maternal instincts, that is a very good sign that what you’re doing isn’t what your baby needs. Your instincts are there for a reason. I would even go so far as to say that perhaps this advice in training parents to ignore their baby’s needs in the interest of economic development. Once you disconnect from hearing your baby, it’s much easier to put them in daycare and return back to work to keep the economic wheels turning.
  • There are scientific studies showing that letting your baby cry for you and not attending to them is damaging for their mental (and physical) development due to elevated stress hormones.
  • There are amazing benefits of co-sleeping. The fact that these benefits exist proves that sleeping with your baby is the right (and to me, the only) option. For more info about this, have a look here

How did we get here?

Economic development has meant that parents need to go to work. Usually this leaves mum to parent on her own while her husband is working, and increasingly, many babies are being looked after by paid child carers while both parents are working.

However, work isn’t really the problem, as parents have always had to work in some form or other – catching fish/making homes/preparing meals etc. The major difference is that our economic growth has also meant the elimination of the extended family network and community support. We’ve been sold the story that we need to be independent. That our ‘privacy’ is extremely important and desirable. We also believe that our success and worth a measured by the size of our homes, the make of our cars and the brand of our clothes. These beliefs are great for economic development (we need to buy, buy, buy and work, work, work!) but not so good on the social front. It’s pretty much just mum and baby… with no  grandma’s, aunt’s or sisters around to take care of the baby when mum need to work, have a rest or nap, go out for some fun or just tune out and watch the grass grow or kettle boil.

So instead of changing the way we live (heavens no!) we’ve decided to set aside the baby’s needs (they can’t really complain, being pre-verbal and immobile, and if they cry we can turn the TV up really loud) to accommodate our unnatural and unsupportive lifestyles.

Being a modern economic mum can be dangerous

Mums who are stuck at home on their own with new babies are at high risk of post-natal depression. When you have your baby, you will be asked to fill out a questionnaire assessing your risk of developing depression. You will also be told to teach your baby to sleep on their own and not to breastfeed them too much. This is to protect you from becoming excessively tired, which can start a downward spiral into post-natal depression, with serious consequences for mother and baby.

Whatever your beliefs about parenting, taking care of mum should be the number one priority for everyone.

A happy, thriving mum means a happy, thriving baby. These two people’s well-being doesn’t have to be at the expense of the other’s. Both mum and baby can make some lifestyle changes so they can BOTH have their needs met.

Four tips to avoid letting your baby become a victim of modern economics

Don’t let yourself feel like a ‘guilty’ mum.

It’s common for mothers to feel like they’re not doing well enough. They look to what other parents are (apparently!) doing and think they can’t match it. When I was a new mum my friend confided in me that she felt like she was failing. I listened her out, but my view on the subject was, ‘my baby doesn’t know what I am ‘supposed’ to be doing. All he knows is that mum is there to cuddle and feed him, and if he’s happy and growing, then I’m doing a good job!’

Ask for help

It’s a little embarrassing and shameful in our modern, independent, economy to ask for help. Everyone is so busy getting ahead that we don’t feel like we can ask anyone to help us out. Maybe you need someone to look after the baby while you nap, or clean, or cook, or a million other things (generally, I’d prefer someone to look after the baby while I did these things, rather than asking people to do these things, because it’s always nice to have a break from the baby and do something else for a while!).

But if you can, break free and ask! I’m saying ‘if’ here because to be honest, I am very scared of asking for help and only really ask my partner to help me. I’d feel dishonest if I made out that this is easy to do.

Just because people don’t usually offer to help, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love to do it for you if you asked.

Get out and be social

If most mums are honest, they’ll tell you that being a mum at home with just your baby can be boring and lonely. I even found it a little ‘scary’.

As a first time mum, when my baby woke up I would panic, wondering how I would entertain him for two or three hours until his next nap!

I ended up going out a LOT. Luckily I lived in a thriving community with amazing playgroups, parks and cafes and I soon worked out a routine that kept me out and about and sane.

Even just having another person over, just their presence, made the world of difference to me.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, lonely or bored, get out, call a friend and ask them to come over or visit their house, or just go for a walk.

It really can make the world of difference to have support as a parent – watch this video

Make sure you’re not tired – and if you are – sleep!

Being tired is the beginning of a downward spiral and most modern parenting advice aims to prevent mums from being tired, as it’s a major cause of post-natal depression. But you don’t have to banish your baby to another room or limit their breastfeeds or any other awful thing that you’re told you ‘have’ to do.

Just make your rest a priority. I’ve already written about how I managed to get really great sleep with a baby. But if your baby insists on waking up a lot at night, or starting their day at 5am, or any other crazy sleep related thing that some babies do, then make your rest the goal each day. Take naps, go to bed early and have a microwave dinner in your pyjamas. Whatever gets you through!

What exactly do you expect?

One of the great ideas in my favourite of all time books, The Continuum Concept (by Jean Liedloff), is that kids do exactly what you expect them to do, not what you ask them to do.

Today I watched a great example of this idea.

This afternoon I took Charlie to his regular gym class. I also brought Austin with me, as usual, so he could get out of the house and explore his world.

While Charlie was doing his class I put Austin on the floor near the door with a half empty water bottle and my car keys to play with. There was a little girl playing on the floor too, waiting for her sister to finish the class. She immediately took interest in Austin and came over to play with him.

I was happy that Austin had the opportunity to meet the lovely little girl and have a little play, but unfortunately her mum kept calling her back. The little girl found it hard to listen to her mum, as the draw of playing with a baby was hard to overcome, so she came over again and squatted next to Austin, giving him a little pat.

The little girl’s mum could see how much she wanted to play with the baby, so she called her over and told her ‘don’t be too rough’ and some other similar instructions. So the little girl went back to Austin and put her foot in his face. She then stared back at her mum to see what reaction she would get.

If that mum had of just left them alone they would have had a lovely time playing together. Instead, the girl got the message that she was expected to be rough with the baby and like all wonderful and pure children, she did what she was told.

My nine month old’s daily rhythm

IMG_0123Wow…how Austin has grown! It seemed like only a minute ago that he was a tiny baby and now he’s crawling around the house and practicing his standing up. My day has changed as well, with me starting work a few months ago. So how does our day go?

Waking up

Austin is still a pretty reliable alarm (except for this morning, when he didn’t wake up until 8.30am and made me rush to get to work on time!). So I do trust him to wake up at around 7.30am each morning. He usually gives me a heads-up at 6.30am when he asks for a breastfeed.

Getting ready for school and work

IMG_9454Austin is going through a clingy stage, so he doesn’t like me walking around when he’s on the floor, even if it’s in the same room. If I try and make breakfast in the kitchen and put him on the floor he clings to my legs and asks to be picked up!

So instead I kill two birds with one stone and ask Oli to wake up and take care of Austin while I prepare breakfast and get ready for the day.

I am blessed to have a flexible employer and have asked to start work at 9.15am. This gives me time to walk Oli to school on the days I work from home or to drop him off if I am driving to the office. Austin always comes along, either in the sling or in the carseat, which luckily he doesn’t mind (except when we’re putting his seatbelt on!).

Work and play

So for the next five hours I am working. Working part-time is a great balance for me at the moment, as I still get plenty of time after work to spend time with my family and even cook dinner (which I never found time for when working full-time).

IMG_9912If I am at home (which is three days each week) I put Austin on the floor at my feet and work while he spends the morning playing. He’s pretty good at entertaning himself but if I am speaking on the phone he rushes over to me and asks to be picked up. He probably thinks a stranger is around and gets scared. This of course, is not very good timing, so I call out to Dada or Charlie to take care of Austin so I can finish my call. If I am planning a call I make sure someone is with him first. Other than that, it’s pretty relaxed working with my boys around and of course Austin gets lots of attention from Dada and Charlie. Although I am working, I still get to be a part of his life and watch him develop and grow. I was there when he rolled over for the first time and when he spent a week learning how to crawl and then finally did it. We all cheered and he looked at us with a, ‘what’s going on?’ expression.

Austin tends to have a short morning nap, perhaps around 9.30am, but lately he’s been staying awake until about 11.30am. I take five or ten minutes out to breastfeed him to sleep and if he doesn’t go to sleep right away I just get back to my work and wait until he looks tired again. Sometimes Dada might take over and rock him if he’s too tired to play but taking too long to fall asleep. He might also have another 20 minute nap in the afternoon, perhaps around 1.30pm.

If I am working from the office (the other two days each week) IMG_9896I wave bye to Charlie and Austin after Dada drops me off at work. Dada then takes care of Austin while I’m away. Until this week David would drive Austin to my work at around 12pm for a breastfeed, but this week he decided to see if Austin could go without and he did fine. Even when I got back into the car at 2pm Austin wasn’t fazed. He didn’t really think about having a breastfeed until we got home and I picked him up and put him in the breastfeeding position – at that point his eyes lit up and he got excited about having his feed.


After work I put Austin in his sling again and we take a walk to Oli’s school to pick him up. Austin’s chubby legs never fail to attract attention and he often tries to hide behing the sling straps to get some peace!

I then might spend some time with Austin before starting to get dinner ready (I rarely get to spend time with Oli or Charlie as they’re off playing with their next door neighbours).

Austin might also have a third nap at around 4.30pm, but the last few days he hasn’t really been as tired, so it seems he’s going from three naps to two.

IMG_9898If Austin is asleep or occupied while I’m making dinner I’ll leave him to it. If they’re home, Austin often chooses to spend time with his brothers and crawls all around the house following them around. Other times Austin doesn’t want to play and so I or Dada put him in the sling while making dinner. The only problem is when he tries to grab things and then drops them on the floor!


IMG_9892Austin loves his food and is always happy to be put in his highchair for dinner time. I tend to give him the same food everyone else is eating, although I cut it up into tiny pieces first because he tends to choke on anything that’s too big (and he doesn’t have any teeth yet, so he can’t chew his food up!). If Austin can’t have our food (which doesn’t happen often, as we also need to please our four and seven year olds!) then I might give him some avacado or pear or toast. Although I’ve noticed he’s not much into avacado these days.

Bed time

IMG_0059At 7pm I put Austin in the bath. Since he’s a very competent sitter I no longer get in the bath with him, as it’s a small bath and too squishy for me plus an active baby. He has fallen backwards a few times but I’m there to sit him back up again and he’s never been hurt as the water cushions his fall. It helps not to fill the bath up too high (just enough to cover his legs) because then he’s heavier and more grounded. Grandma and Aunty Anna bought Austin some groovie bath toys for Christmas so Austin is never short of things to play with. He also enjoys examining the taps and throwing his toys on the bathroom floor and watching where they land.


After bath I take Austin to the bedroom to dry him up and get him ready for bed. As soon as I lie him down on his towel he begins to cry, but if I let him hold his tube of baby cream he cheers up immediately. I try to get Austin dry and dressed quickly as it’s the only part of the day he isn’t fond off.

IMG_9709I then lie down with him on a floor matt and feed him to sleep. I used to put him to sleep on the bed, and once he learned to crawl we put pillows all around him to stop him from rolling off. Because he always cries when he wakes up we always had time to get to him before he had time to move. But one night he didn’t make a sound when he woke up and simply crawled right off the bed! So from that night on we haven’t put him to sleep on a raised surface and I pick him up off the floor mat and put him in bed with me once I am ready to go to sleep myself.

Until that time Austin might wake up a few times (or sometimes not at all). As soon as I hear him cry I go to the bedroom and settle him back down with a breastfeed. It usually only takes five minutes before he is asleep again. Because the bedroom is at the front of the house and I usually spend my evenings at the back of the house, not long ago I bought a second hand baby monitor (it only cost $2 and it’s perfect!). So now we don’t need to check on Austin or pause a movie or listen out for sounds because we can hear any noises he makes loud and clear.

Breastmilk…the vaccine

Well, who knew!?

Obviously I was aware that breastfeeding your baby protected them against illness, but I had no idea it protected babies for up to 10 years, like a vaccine!?

There is actually a study showing that breastfed babies had lower rates of Haemophilus influenzae meningitis up to age ten!

I hope they do more research on this. Surely breastfeeding is preferable to taking risks with vaccines (but of course, not as profitable).



The bite…

I have beautiful boys, but sometimes they make silly decisions! Like the other day, when Charlie thought it would be a good idea to bite his next door neighbour…

The boys were playing in the backyard with their neighbours, Sally and Billy (not their real names!). When Sally went to have a turn on the swing, Oli told Charlie to ‘attack’ her, so like a good little brother Charlie obeyed the request and hit and bit Sally!

I didn’t know any of this had happened at the time, but realised something was off when I saw Charlie come into the house and hide in the laundry. Not long after Sally came inside in tears and showed us her arm. I could see it was red and assumed Charlie had hit her, I didn’t notice the teeth marks. I could see Charlie was upset about it and he told Sally he was sorry, so I decided to leave it at that.

Then there was a knock at the door. It was Sally’s mum. She was being lovely and just wanted to make sure we knew what had happened – which was lucky, as obviously I didn’t know the full extent of the problem. I felt so bad. I felt like Sally’s mum expected us to do more about the bite then let Charlie hide in the laundry (if it was a fight between my two I would have left it at this, as Charlie was scared and sorry…).

So after everyone was gone I called Charlie over and suggested that he draw Sally a picture to show how sorry he was and to make her feel happy. Charlie thought this was a good idea, but wasn’t in the mood to do it right away and said he’d do it tomorrow when he felt happy again.

First thing the next morning Charlie sat down and drew Sally a beautiful flower and butterfly. I then asked him what message he’d like to write and he said, “I’m really sorry.” Charlie also wanted to make Sally some muffins, so we got out the recipie book and Charlie baked some muffins (he did most of the work – even cracking the eggs!).

Once the muffins were ready we went over to give them and the drawing to Sally. She wasn’t home, but Charlie gave it to her dad and the next time we saw Sally she told us the muffins were delicious. I’m really glad we did that. Charlie got to say sorry in a beautiful and thoughtful way, Sally got a treat and I feel like I showed Charlie that biting was a really big deal and he should never do it again.

Which is the healthiest canteen drink?

Here is a list of some of the drinks offered at our canteen. Which one do you think is the healthiest for your child?

• Prima apple juice with 25% juice
• Aroona Cola with 10% juice
• Aroona Blue with 10% juice
• Aroona Lemon Lime with 10% juice
• Pop Tops apple juice with 35% juice
• Moove chocolate milk

You may have chosen the Pop Tops, as it contains 35% fruit juice. However, it also contains a few other ingredients that may actually be doing your child harm, including two different types of preservatives and artificial colours.

As it turns out, the healthiest choice is Prima, which is free from these harmful additives.

For a run down of what’s in our child’s canteen drinks, see the table below.

What’s in it?
Aroona Cola
Aroona Blue
Aroona Lemon Lime
Pop Tops
Moove chocolate milk


Water  H2O        x  x  
Carbonated Natural Spring Water Mixing carbon dioxide with water creates carbonic acid, making the water slightly more acidic. This can be bad for teeth.   x  x      
Reconstituted apple juice Reconstituted juice doesn’t have as much nutrition as freshly squeezed juice, as the enzymes needed for adequate food metabolism and the immune system are destroyed. This is why manufacturers often artificially add Vitamin C to such juices.       x25% of drink  x35% of drink  
Fruit juices The ingredient list didn’t specify what type of fruit juice the drink contains.  x10% of drink  x10% of drink        
Lemon fruit juice        x10% of drink      
Reduced fat milk Natural fats are important to maintain health.            x
Milk solids Powdered milk or dried milk is a manufactured dairy product made by evaporating milk to dryness.            x
Sugar Too much sugar can lead to tooth decay and obesity.        x  x  x
Cocoa powder (min. 0.25%) Derived from cacao beans            x
Sucrose This is table sugar, and is found naturally in plants such as pineapples and apricots. Too much sucrose can lead to tooth decay and obesity.  x  x  x      
Fructose This is fruit sugar, and is found in plants such as vine fruits, flowers, berries and root vegetables. It’s also found in honey. It can contribute to obesity.  x  x  x      
Food acid (330) Citric acid is created by fermenting molasses and is used as an acidity regulator. It can damage tooth enamel.  x  x  x  x  x  
Food acid (338) Phosphoric acid gives soft drinks a sour taste and is also used as an acidity regulator. Because kidneys excrete it by bonding it with calcium taken from the bones, consuming too much can weaken bones.  x          
Flavour The ingredient list didn’t specify what ‘flavour’ is.    x  x  x  x  x
Vegetable gum (407) Known as a carrageenan, vegetable gum 407 is extracted from red seaweed and is used for gelling, thickening and stabilising. Recently concerns have been raised that carrageenan could cause tumors and colon cancer.            x
Natural cola essence It’s difficult to work out what this is made from, but it’s likely a mix of caramel extracts, essential oils, phosphoric acid and caffeine. Although it contains the word ‘natural’, it’s still a highly processed ingredient and unlikely to contain nutritional benefits.  x          
Colour (Caramel  150) Caramel 150 is manufactured by heating carbohydrates and provides a brown colour in foods. Due to uncertainties about how this colour affects the immune system, the European Food Safety Authority recently reduced the acceptable daily intake of this additive and advised to keep consumer exposure to caramel colours as low as possible.  x          
Colour (102) A synthetic dye, Tartrazine is one of the worst offenders for allergic and intolerance reactions. It’s also linked to hyperactivity, skin rashes, migraines, behavioural and thyroid problems and chromosome damage      x    x  
Colour (155) Brown HT is a suspected carcinogen and mutagen and is linked to asthma and skin irritation.            x
Colour (133) A synthetic dye produced using aromatic hydrocarbons from petroleum, Brilliant Blue, is a suspected carcinogen linked to hyperactivity, skin rashes, bronchoconstriction and chromosomal damage.    x  x    x  x
Preservative (211) A recent study suggested sodium benzoate (Preservative 211) combined with certain artificial food colours could increase hyperactive behaviour in children. There are also concerns this preservative causes cancer by damaging cell DNA and can also lead to neurological diseases, such as parkinsons.   x  x  x    x  
Preservative (223) Sodium metabisulphite is linked to gastric irritation, nausea, rashes, swelling and behavioural problems. Should be avoided by asthmatics.          x  
Vitamin C Artificially added as naturally occurring vitamins in the juice were destroyed in the manufacturing process.        x